I wrote recently how wonderful it was to be able to sleep through the night again. That development came as I was using the patch in my effort to quit smoking.
Now I'm weaning myself from the patch, have moved through step 2 and started step 3 yesterday. Step 1 provides 21 mg of nicotine a day, 2 provides 14, and 3 provides 7. Next week it'll be 0.
And so I'm up, this morning at 1:30 am. It's no doubt that my addiction is responsible, at least in part, for my inability to sleep through the night. It's a powerful force. Bear in mind that I'm on a couple of medications that would knock out a normal person. I should be sleeping. But I'm not.
To understand addiction, and why it's so hard to quit, just understand this: that withdrawal has such negative consequences that the addicted person will choose to resume their use, just to avoid the withdrawal. That's why people continue drinking. Or using. Or smoking. Or eating to excess. Etc.
What I discovered when I went through chemical dependency treatment is that one just needs to buckle down, bear the pain, and wait patiently for it to subside. Easier said than done.
What I'm most concerned about is losing hope. "It's just not worth the effort, and I don't like who I am in withdrawal, and there will be a better time to do this down the road." These are the statements that have kept me smoking for all these years.
The point is, often in life when one is trying to make positive changes, it gets worse before it gets better. Accepting that is necessary for success.
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