I could use some of that mania now.
There's a lot of uncertainty at this time. A lot of decisions looming. "Make a list!" Karla says. "Check off one after another until your done."
A list.
- Do I go back to work in my own business, Olsons Woodworks?
- If so, should I build a shop?
- What does the future hold for me regarding ministry? Will Peace survive for the long term. Is it's viability more limited than that? What options are there, if any?
- What tools are necessary at this time if I go back into business?
- How much of an investment is appropriate given a limited amount of years left to work?
- Will my health hold up?
- The pain in my shoulder. . .is it bursitis, or bone spurs, or. . .? Will it require surgery? Can I continue long term with the repetitive motions associated with woodworking?
- And what about my knees? Their soreness is not helped by hours on end on concrete.
- And then there is the small matter of my heart. X-rays showed slight enlargement. I've experienced some shortness of breath. Big issue? Small matter? Time will tell.
- And finally, there's the question of desire. What would make me, and Karla, happy and satisfied in the coming months and years?
Now, if I was in a manic phase I could rattle off decisions fast enough to make your head spin. This list? Well except for those matters waiting for another could all be resolved in about 10 minutes.
Bottom line. I currently don't feel well and am not happy with my life. It doesn't feel like depression. It feels like circumstances are not what I'd like them to be. There's a difference.
I'm tired of setting the alarm for 3:30 each morning.
I'm tired of going to bed at 7:00 pm each evening.
I'd like to be more of a companion for my wife.
I'd like for my woodworking to be more fulfilling.
I'd like to feel healthier.
OK, you get the picture.
The key to happiness is to identify your passion and follow it. In relationships. In work. In one's leisure time activities.
That's a better list. I'll work on it.
