That which matters most. . .

I had a conversation with my brother this last week relative to the interview process I'm in.  The company that I am applying to is an Affirmative Action company, and has invited voluntary disclosure of any disability, past or present.  Do I disclose or don't I?

Because there is no obvious need for reasonable accommodations to be provided in order for me to perform the work, there is part of me that feels it unnecessary to disclose anything.  There is a fear of the prejudice that exists regarding mental illness.  And, there are many who may not realize that being Bipolar does not mean one is "crazy".  It only means that one experiences mood swings that are beyond the norm.  Furthermore, I am responding well to medication and those mood swings have been greatly moderated.

And then I consider disclosure.  First of all, I do not want to be hired because of the requirements of an Affirmative Action policy.  I want to be hired because of my capabilities.  Yet disclosure brings with it some distinct advantages.  The one accommodation that I do need is the ability to continue to see my doctors on a regular basis in order to monitor my moods and make adjustments of medications as necessary.  This is not that frequent, currently.  I see my psychologist once a month, my psychiatrist every two to three months.  I haven't told my current employer why I'm asking for time off for these appointments and as a result I get comments that are basically inquiries about my health or at the minimum, statements of concern.

In the end, following my brother's counsel, I have decided to disclose for the simple reason that I've already disclosed.  You cannot write a blog or post on Facebook without that information being available to others who care enough to do a simple search.  I am told that companies with an extensive interview process will often do a Google search on prospective employees.  And so disclosure may be nothing more than a direct acknowledgement of what is already out in the open and on the table anyway.  It will allow for open conversation and assurances about what is and is not necessary.  And its who I am, which is a good place to start a relationship.

And yet it is not that which really matters most.

One of the challenges about such a diagnosis is to not let it become definitive for one's very identity.  While it is true that my life has been shaped by the ebb and flow of mood changes, that is more about my life experiences than my identity.  A cancer patient's identity is not the disease they have.  Nor is a bipolar persons identity defined by the disease.

Here is one place where my faith comes in to play.  The promise that was made to me in baptism is that I am nothing less than a beloved child of God.  Furthermore, as a child of God, I have been given many different gifts and abilities.  Baptism, is disclosure.  It is all about recognizing the true nature of who and whose we are.

Today as I interview, I hope that is what comes through, for it is what matters most.