"Pastor Dave"

Its not my first rodeo, but perhaps one of my most significant.

In a few hours I will greet the congregation at Peace Lutheran in Otis Orchards and begin a relationship that could last a few weeks, months, perhaps even longer.

And I will have the privilege of introducing myself once again as "Pastor Dave".

To a certain extent, leading worship again will be like riding a bicycle.  No matter how much time has past, the mechanics of it all will be second nature, and I will feel at home,  once again.  

But this matter of "Pastor Dave".  During the last few years I have had to make some adjustments.  I have been somewhat uncomfortable being referred to as pastor in the congregation  we've been attending in Newport.  I  may still be on the clergy roster, but I was not called to be their pastor.  I've served as treasurer and signed my name to reports as simply "Dave Olson".  There was a concerted effort to recreate my identity apart from the office of pastor.

And yet I also have found myself clinging to that identity as well.  My email address is pastordavidolson@gmail.com.  I turned to blogging because I needed to keep writing about that which matters.  It was a pulpit that was available to me.  "Pastor Dave" lived on in the wee hours of the morning at this keyboard.

What will be different today is that when people address me as "Pastor Dave", it will carry with it the connotation once again that its not just about my personal identity, but it will speak to a relationship with a congregation.  That is significant.

All this being said, I'm a different person today, than I was on January 27th, 2013.  (My last Sunday at First Lutheran.)

Today, I think I know better the meaning of "'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.'  So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

There is a part of me that feels vulnerable because of all I've publicly shared about my journey with being bipolar on this site and elsewhere as well.  I find myself wondering if those from Otis Orchards have explored my Facebook page, and learned of all my struggles.  And if so, what is their judgment?  

That being said, I think it fair to say that for any congregation to fully embrace me as their pastor, they will need to know me as a person as well.  To withhold a significant part of who I am from them, is to hold them at a distance.  

But there is a witness in all of this as well.  God's grace will be sufficient.  Our own weaknesses actually serve the purpose of helping us to more fully depend, not on our own abilities, but on the power of God.  I am reminded of John the Baptist's words:  "I am not the Messiah."  Just a voice crying out in the wilderness.

And in my weakness, bearing witness to the one who has all power.

"Pastor Dave" they will call me.  

And with the words "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all" the service will begin.

"Grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

And in the midst of these well worn words, I will find my voice once again, which is actually not my voice at all.  

That's my prayer, this morning.
Amen