Resilience and the art of bouncing back

"You certainly have resilience cornered. . ."

These are the words of a Facebook friend, familiar with my blogs, and I appreciate them.  My response was that if you get knocked on your butt often enough you either die or learn to bounce back.  The latter is preferable. 

This is not the first time I've been associated with that word/concept.  One of my friends once said "You win the 'landing on your feet' award for this year."  My bishop once remarked "Your resilience continues to amaze me."

OK, well, so enough already.  Resilience is not a trait that I'd encourage people to cultivate, simply because it involves getting up after being knocked down, and I'd spare you that.  But the truth is life will not always spare us the hard knocks.  And I guess, getting up again is a good thing.  But being knocked on your butt is not.

Twenty years ago I wrote this prayer.  It continues to speak to me.

Hold me tight, most precious Lord,

That I might follow you.

Grant me grace to live each day,

May I be born anew.

Lift me up whenever I fall,

And never let me fade

From the grace filled light

Of your own sight

That turns the night to day.

Part of this resilience thing goes hand in hand with being bipolar.  That cycle of mania and depression, over and over again, has the look and feel of resilience.  C'est la vie.

Been a little depressed lately.  Nothing overwhelming.  Just down.  

I've found myself looking forward to retirement.  One of the things I look forward to is being on a 'fixed income'.  For many people, 'fixed income' is viewed as a negative.  I  look forward to the day that I can count on that income, month after month.  It will ease a lot of pressure.

I realize now that there are two things I really don't like about ministry.  First, I don't like the feeling that there can be a direct link between the nuances of my preaching and the level of the offerings.  People vote with their checkbooks too much, I think.  I'm not sure if this is fact.  But at times it feels like it.  Offerings are down and I wonder 'what did I say?'  

The second thing I don't like is having to censor myself regarding issues that are extremely important to me.  I'm tired of it.  "Your not in favor of homosexuality, are you?"  OK, so I didn't anticipate how significant this would be throughout the thirty years of my ministry.  But these are the times we are living in.  OK, so take a deep breath, Dave, and let it out slowly.  LGBTQ does not refer to an issue that we are in favor of or opposed to, but rather to people that we are called to love unconditionally, as Jesus first loved us.  We all stand before God utterly dependent on grace, so just get over it already.  Just get over it.

I'll say it again.  This is not an issue we're fighting about, but people we are to love and care for.  

Enough, already.  I'll get ready for church now.  I'm preaching on "Simon, do you love me?"  

The one thing I do not look forward to in retirement, whenever that comes, is not preaching.  I love to preach.