Choices

Freedom is the capacity to choose.  It is the opportunity to direct the future in the way that makes the most sense to you and will best accomplish your goals.  I'm feeling a deep personal need to exercise that freedom, but it comes with some risk.

I'm not happy working at the cabinet shop.  I still love woodworking and combining my skills as a craftsman with  my love for ministry is working.  But, I'm not happy where I'm working and am contemplating returning to self employment.

Part of it is the shear exhaustion I feel working this schedule.  I rise at 2 to 3 every morning.  I have breakfast, perhaps a little extra sleep, then at 4:15 shower, following which I get into the car at 4:45 to commute to Hayden.  Work starts at 5:30.  Some days I work till 4 pm and return home.  Other days I work till 12:30 and then go and put in four hours or so at church.  I'm pretty exhausted by the time the weekend rolls around however I still write my sermon, prepare a bible study, and then lead worship.

Were I passionate about the work I'm doing at the cabinet shop this might be doable in the long run.  The hard thing though is that the work I'm doing is not particularly rewarding.  That and the work environment is at times horrendous.  The attitudes at work drive me crazy.  And, I'm not happy.

Freedom.  I have choices.  Life doesn't have to be this way.

What I've realized of late is that if I start drawing on my pensions, and my wife takes her social security, I would largely replace the income I've been receiving from the cabinet shop, and should I become self employed again operating "Olsons WoodWorks", all the income from that would be pure gravy.  Icing on top of the cake.  Bottom line is that even if I only made minimum wage, I'd be money ahead of where I am. 

There is risk.  There is some security in being gainfully employed by someone else, and knowing that they have plenty of contracts lined up to provide a steady stream of employment.

But there is another risk.  I've only one life to live.  And not being happy is not the preferred manner that I'd like to live it.

And so I'll evaluate options.  Consult with my dear wife.  Make choices.  And hopefully create a better tomorrow for my wife and I.