Mental Illness: Shooters, Care giving, and "The System"

As one with a mental illness, I cringe every time I hear of yet another heinous crime being blamed on somebody being "mentally ill".  It adds to the stigma of mental illness. There is a built in prejudice in such a statement, not dissimilar to  saying "The murderer was black."  The murderer may have been black, but being black does not in anyway predispose one to being a murderer.  Or to put it in other words, imagine a news reporter saying, "This is yet another case of a blond person murdering someone."

Having said that there are some basic facts to acknowledge.  Anyone -- truly anyone-- who commits murder can be diagnosed with a mental illness.  Of course, mentally healthy people simply don't go to school armed to the max and start shooting.  Mentally healthy people do not do things like murdering their family and taking their own life.  There is a diagnosis in DSM for absolutely everyone that would engage in murderous activity.

Mentally healthy people don't murder other people.  But neither do the vast majority of people who struggle with mental illness.

A psychopath is a person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.  I might react more favorably to a reporter saying that the "murderer was a psychopath", than to the more generic "mentally ill".

Having said all of that, I appreciate the sentiment behind calls for better care for the mentally ill in our society that often come up following a shooting.  Although, lets be honest.  Not a lot of psychopaths are going to seek out the care of a mental health professional.  You will never find a "Psychopaths Anonymous" group.  For the sake of every one who struggles with mental illness, it would be nice if the general level of knowledge and awareness was increased across our society, and especially within the "system" that is designed to support and care for those with a mental illness.

Case in point.  Yesterday I got a call from Liberty Mutual, that manages my disability claim on behalf of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.  "I'm calling to inform you that your benefits have been suspended.  The reason why we are suspending your benefits is because your doctor has failed to submit the report we requested on time."  This came on a Friday afternoon.  My doctor doesn't work Fridays.  Frantically, I tried to get a message through to her.  If I can get her to submit the requested report by Tuesday everything will be alright.  If I don't get ahold of her until Monday, she'll have to drop everything to do the report (six months of treatment notes is what's being requested).

The point?  One of my diagnoses is an anxiety disorder.  The single most difficult thing to cope with during this time, given my diagnosis, has been the disability plan that is supposed to be helping at this time.  In the aftermath of the call I began having "partial complex seizures".  Great.  They're trying to determine whether I should remain on disability, and their methods of determining this are such that they aggravate the disease, and it could land me back in the hospital.  Which of course might answer their question.

Its things like this, difficult to cope with, that can cause deep seated anxieties and, yes, a rage.

Second case in point:  The message implied in much of the communication from the disablity claims department is 'prove to us you cannot work'.  On the other side of the equation, for me to be considered eligible for call, there would be the demand to 'prove to us you can work'.  It is at one and the same time in the best interests of the Church to get me off of disability, yet also, to not allow me to re-enter parish ministry.  The disability plan feels like a severance package and a disposal system.

Then twinges of rage start stirring deep within.

Then I step back, reflect on it, and wonder if such experiences that are common for a person with a mental health diagnosis, are the breeding ground for the type of rage that can lead to horrific behaviors?  For those who are Sesame Street fans, I find myself wondering if there is a monster at the end of this book, and if the monster could be me. . .