For unto you this day is born a Savior

The world in silent stillness lay.

For a while this early morning there was a brief power outage.  And with the snow silently falling there was a peacefulness that enveloped the night.  Tonight we will gather to worship and celebrate Christmas.  "And on earth, peace."  These words from the angel's song ring in my ears this early morning.  And on earth, peace.

A Christmas card from a dear friend who has been reading my blog shared the hope that in the midst of my struggles I might find peace.  I find myself pondering this in my heart.

"Unto you" this day is born a Savior.  Can I believe and experience the specificity of those words "unto you"?  Will the peace of which the angels sing be a peace that embraces my life?  When God sends us a savior it awakens in our souls the imaginations of what salvation looks like.  In my own life this bipolar experience is the context from which I long for a savior.  In Bethlehem that night, words of a Savior could not be heard apart from the context of the occupation of Israel by the Roman legions.  My world is occupied by another oppressive force.

This last week my brother submitted my appeal regarding my disability insurance and benefits.  I had to removed myself from the whole process, as much as possible, as engagement in it, in even the slightest way, sent me into violent mood swings.  Asked to provide simple background information resulted in my searching through  files and in exasperation throwing them around the room.  I don't usually behave that way.  My wife has tried to intervene and to assist my brother so as to protect me from the roller coaster ride that this process provokes.  "Unto you" this day is born a Savior.

I can't hear those words apart from my experience of being captive to this disease and the control it has over my life.  The first inclination that I have is to imagine life apart from being bipolar.  What would it be like to be free of this disease?  Luther spoke of the difference between a theology of glory and a theology of the cross.  Our first inclination, I believe, is to hope to experience a theology of glory.  Victory over this disease.  Being set free from our captivity.  No more medications.  No more violent mood swings.  No more visits to that dark place in the night.  No more soaring beyond reality.  Just a balanced, peaceful life.

"My power is made perfect in weakness."  The theology of the cross, what Luther said was the only 'true theology', acknowledges quite another reality.  "Unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior."  God comes to us, and encounters us, in the midst of our lives.  That's what the "unto you" is about.  "In the city of David" refers to the specific context in which we live and move and have our being.  For me, the city of David, is bipolar.  The struggles that we face are not eliminated, they are redeemed.  Peace is experienced not because our 'foes' have been erased, but because in the midst of the struggle, there is God.

 "O Lord, how shall I meet you, how welcome you aright?
Your people long to greet you, my hope, my  heart's delight!!"

Rejoice, then, you sad-hearted,
who sit in deepest gloom.
Who mourn your joys departed
and tremble at  your doom.
Despair not he is near you.
There, standing at the door,
who best can help and cheer you
and bids you weep no more.