Dare to lead

Karla and  I were charter members of a new mission congregation during the early years of our marriage.  Agnus Dei Lutheran Church was where we began our adult lives as active participants in the life of the Church.  It was there that I was led into Church leadership, and eventually decided to enter the ordained ministry.  As I entered ordained ministry there was a deep desire, cultivated during my time at Agnus Dei, to become a mission developer and to lead in the development of a new congregation such as Agnus Dei.

At about the same time, Peace Lutheran in Otis Orchards was being organized.  Like Agnus Dei, Peace Lutheran thrived during those early years.  To this day, hanging on the wall in the entry are photos of the relatively large confirmation classes that Peace Lutheran conducted.  Those photos bear witness to a vibrant young congregation.  

I discovered something new the other night.  These two congregations had something else in common.  Each of the organizing pastors was engaged in sexual misconduct.  Both of them fell in love with and married members of their congregations.  Each of the congregations was thrown into crisis.  And that early vibrancy of the new mission congregations was interrupted.  Decades have passed and Peace Lutheran has never fully recovered from the effects of that, hard as that may seem to believe.  

To be called to redevelop Peace Lutheran is a dream come true for me.  And though it is not a 'new mission start', it will require the same sort of development that goes into starting a new mission.  We will have the advantage, though, of a dedicated core group already in place, as well as a building that is paid for.  

One of the observations of some experts in dealing with clergy misconduct is that it can take two full pastorates for a congregation to recover.  In Peace's case, one of those pastorates lasted 22 years.  During that time, trust was restored in the pastoral office.  The congregation has now been free of conflict throughout most of those years.  What is left to do is to rekindle the missionary spirit and vibrancy of the early years.  

The challenges that this brings awakens within me the kind of drive and energy that I have experienced before during my best times in pastoral ministry.  The concern is that it also may awaken within me the manic impulses.  A "savior mentality" is one of those impulses that is almost always present when I'm in a manic phase.  And I am well aware that the circumstances of Peace Lutheran could call for a savior.  

The trick will be to lead the congregation in mission, without getting caught up in a savior mentality and role.  And to have the courage to walk that fine line.  

One of the dynamics of Agnus Dei's early years was that the congregation was developed around the personal charisma of the pastor, to a certain extent.  This made the congregation even more vulnerable when things went sour.  

It's a reminder to me that though leadership will be required of me, I'm not to be the glue that holds everything together.  I'm not to be a savior, nor the focus of the ministry.  Another has that role.  

But on the other hand, the caution that being bipolar requires in order to maintain balance should not be allowed to undermine what are the legitimate and measured needs for pastoral leadership in this new endeavor.  Part of maintaining that balance will be to see that leadership more in terms of a 'coming alongside' and a 'walking with', rather than a 'going where no man has ever gone before.'  

I pray for guidance.  And a continuing balance in my moods.  And I ask your prayers as well.

Meanwhile, I get to be a mission developer.  Yeah.