Some odds and ends regarding disability. . .

"'While we were impressed with your background and experience, we concluded that other candidate's profiles more closely matched our requirements."


And with that, my budding career as an aircraft assembler came to an end before it got started. Having been turned down for the position I'm left wondering what part of my profile did not match their requirements. Let's see:

• All my experience as a builder is with wood, they work in metal. 
• I'm over educated for the position. 
• My prior salary is far more than what the position offered. 
• I have been in my current position only 5 months. 
• I voluntarily disclosed that I am bipolar. 
• I am 59 years old. 

Let's see, given all this I can imagine numerous things about my profile that might not match their requirements. And of course, they would not want to disclose the particulars. And so I'm simply left with life as it is, not as I had hoped it would be. I'm also left with an awareness that external matters, such as applying for and being turned down for a job, can have an enormous impact on my mood. Whether or not this job would have been an improvement over what I am currently doing, the mere thought of it greatly elevated my mood, and being turned down sent me into a depressed state. Up and down. Just like that. On this day I don't know if those mood swings were significantly out of the ordinary. I certainly wasn't off the charts. But it was enough to remind me that mood stability is not part of my personal profile. . .

On disability benefits: I chose to disclose that I am bipolar to this potential new employer because they are an Affirmative Action employer, had requested such voluntary disclosure, AND, on the form for disclosure Bipolar Disorder was specifically identified as an example of such a disability. Just saying that I find it interesting that had I been hired for the position I applied for, my being hired as a person with Bipolar Disorder would have fulfilled the requirements of the Affirmative Action laws regarding being a 'government contractor' and hiring the disabled. Contrary to that is the position that Liberty Mutual has taken regarding my disability claim, that being Bipolar does not constitute a disability that would prevent me from resuming pastoral ministry or any other vocation.

My psychologist shared with me that he had received notice that another "peer review" was underway regarding my appeal for disability benefits. I have come to loathe Liberty Mutual and resent their involvement in my case, though I have no choice about that matter. Something about a company rendering judgments regarding my health without ever even interviewing me. We will see what happens. My brother is handling the appeal, and because of my emotional instability, I am quite content to stay as far removed from it as I can.

Meanwhile, because I have come to "loathe" Liberty Mutual, I have terminated my homeowners, car, and business policies with them. I take particular delight in receiving the checks refunding my premiums. And I entertain myself with the thought that in the end, the business they have lost from me will exceed the amount that they have been paid to manage my disability claim. I hope so, anyway.

The most troubling part of this whole matter of disability is that there may well be inconsistent judgments. It may be determined that I am not disabled enough to receive disability benefits, but too disabled to be considered for pastoral ministry. Unfortunately, this may be the reality, allowed for under the terms of the policy.